Showing posts with label HG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HG. Show all posts

Friday, May 18, 2012

Oh Sleep, Where Art Thou!?!

Oh Sleep, Where Art Thou!?!


I don't know about any of you, but I NEED my sleep. I am not a very fun person to be around when I am tired... Unfortunately for everyone close to me, I haven't had good sleep in weeks!!

I know what you are thinking - I have a 4 month old (2.5 months adjusted age) so OF COURSE I'm low on sleep!! I wish it were that simple but sadly he isn't the one keeping me awake. I am the one keeping me awake... Ahhhhh....

I lie in bed every night completely exhausted yet I can not fall asleep. I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it but it is driving me crazy!! By the time I doze off, Colin wakes up to eat for the first time or Aidan gets up because there is an imaginary spider in his bed! Oh my!

On top of my own insomnia, it seems that Colin is either teething or going through the so - called "4 month sleep regression". He woke me up 5 or 6 times the last two nights. I find myself pleading with him at 4 in the morning and BEGGING him to just let me sleep because I MUST get some sleep. He never seems to understand though... :)

What is worse than any of this is the fact that I've been having terrible, horrifying nightmares almost every night. I think that this may be one reason I am not able to fall asleep in the first place. I am afraid that if I fall asleep I might experience yet another nightmare.... Usually the nightmares are centered around pregnancy or something pregnancy related. Other times, it is related to being held captive in the hospital and not being allowed to escape (and no, I'm NOT referring to a mental hospital!!). If you are familiar with my pregnancy story these things will make more sense.

Just last night I woke up in tears just 45 short minutes after falling asleep because of the dream nightmare I was having. What in the world!? I think I'm losing it!! Here's how the dream went... Alex and I decided sometime in the future that we wanted to have another baby and for some reason the way to achieve that (in my dream) was for me to take some kind of medication. The medication would ensure 100% that I would get pregnant immediately. I took the medication and instantly regretted it. What was I doing!? I'm too weak! I'm not good at being pregnant! Everyone was going to be mad at me! I was begging Alex to do something to prevent me from being pregnant but it was too late. I was completely panicking and hyperventilating at the thought that I was pregnant...


I woke up in tears because I was just so terrified. I just wasn't strong enough... Now obviously I know that the nightmares don't mean anything. Even while I am sleeping I try to wake myself up when I am having them because I know that they are not reality. I know that the idea that I could become pregnant by swallowing a pill is completely absurd (I've got two kids, believe me - I KNOW where babies come from)! It still somehow gets to me though.

All I know is that I can't keep doing this every single night. I'm afraid to sleep yet I'm so extremely tired. I can't (and don't want to) take something to make me sleep because I need to be there for Colin (and Aidan's imaginary spiders).  

I am really hoping that Colin starts sleeping more soundly like he usually does and that the nightmares STOP. I can't take this much longer!! My Hyperemesis effected me so much more than I thought it could and I'm at a total loss as to how to "fix" myself. I wish it was simple and I wish that it had just gone away the moment I held Colin in my arms but alas, it did not. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and put the puzzle that is my life back together. I just hope I'm not missing any pieces!!!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

HG Awareness Day

Hyperemesis Gravidarum World Awareness Day!



Today is the very first Hyperemesis Gravidarum World Awareness day. Sadly, there are many people (including doctors!) that do not know enough information about this pregnancy induced DISEASE! That's right, this is no morning sickness. It is a disease that causes unrelenting nausea and vomiting in pregnancy that makes the mother unable to eat or drink and leads to malnourishment, dehydration, and could potentially lead to death.

If you don't know what Hyperemesis is, now is your opportunity to find out! Go to www.helpher.org and you will find all kinds of information. You can also read the other pages on my blog and find out even more information as well as my personal story.

It is time for people to become more eductated on this awful disease! Share the information you learn with friends and family, point them to the HelpHer website, share this blog with them. Anything you can do to spread awareness. You never know when you may come across with someone who is suffering with HG and if you do, you will already be well informed!


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Where has this year gone!?!

4 months...


4 Months have sped past at lightening speeds. It's hard to believe how pregnancy can go so extremely slow but once the baby arrives, time flies so quickly. Colin is changing every day - especially over the last two weeks or so. He is really developing a personality! He is such a smiley boy and is more and more interactive every day. He nurses every 2-3 hours during the day still but sleeps through the night most of the time so I can handle that. He still sleeps a lot during the day but I think it is time to start transitioning him to fewer, longer naps rather than the frequent, shorter ones.  He now weighs 11 lbs 12 oz. and is 23 inches tall! What a big boy!!
5.11.2012 - 4 months exactly

  • Let's see, this past month Colin has become a rolling machine! He has been rolling from his tummy to back consistently since he was only 7 days old but now he is much better and faster at it. He can roll from his back to his tummy some now too.
  • We had to retire his bassinet and move him into a pack n play to sleep :( He can still fit into his bassinet but he is moving WAY too much to stay in there. Now that he is in the pnp he moves all over the place in it. I never know where I'll find him in there or what goofy position he will end up in!
  • When he is laying on his stomach (assuming he doesn't flip immediately over) he can scoot all over the place. He lays his head down, puts his hiney in the air with his knees under him and propels himself forward with his legs. He looks like a little inchworm.
  •  Just this past week or so he has really started reaching for and grabbing toys. He would hold on to things that I would hand him before but now he is doing it on purpose and all by himself. It's so cute!

  • He is now officially a chatterbox! This child talks ALL. THE. TIME. Sometimes he even "talks" himself to sleep. I love standing in my room listening to him. He sure does love the sound of his voice (and we do too)!
Colin has also developed some traits that are not so awesome but I know it's only temporary!
  • He has decided that there are two people in the world: The Momma (me obviously) and NOT The Momma (everyone else he comes into contact with). He has become quite attached and will often start screaming as loud as he can if I pass him off to someone else. Athough I am so extremely proud that my boy loves me so much, it would be nice if he would let someone else hold him so I could have a break every once in a while! Besides, I think he has hurt some people's feelings when he doesn't want them :(.
*Everytime I think of Colin's apparent view of everyone else (not the momma!), it makes me think of this clip from the TV series Dinosaurs...

  • He REFUSES a bottle if we are out in public. Just picture the loudest, angriest baby you can imagine. This is what he becomes when we attempt to stick a bottle in his mouth. I normally nurse him but I have a stash of milk in my freezer and when I go out it would be really convenient to feed him a bottle. Nope, not gonna happen! He used to take it without a fuss but now it just makes him mad. Oddly enough, he WILL take the bottle if we are at home or in the car. As long as he can't see any strangers he drinks the bottle right up. Maybe it's a security thing for him to nurse when he is in an unfamiliar place, I don't know...
Well, that is my Colin update :) Now it's time for an update on the first born...

  • Aidan is just being as goofy as ever. He is definitely his father's son. He says so many things that have us laughing (and sometimes shocked) constantly. I really need to be better at writing the things that he says down... I'll work on that...
  • He absouletly loves playing soccer and has really improved his skills. It is adorable watching all of those 4 year olds trying to figure out the right way to run and steal the ball from their own team members. Too funny.
  • Also, Aidan is officially signed up for preschool for the fall. What happened to my little 5.6 lb squishy newborn that I had just 4 years ago!?! He is very excited about school and I think he is really going to enjoy it. He's ready to go now! Me... Not so much :)

 I probably need to have a separate blog post about how I'm doing at this point. Things definitley aren't great. I am having a lot of lingering problems related to my difficult pregnancy and I'm having a hard time knowing what to do about everything. I wish that things had just resolved immediately when Colin was born but they did not and now I need to figure everything out...

Here are some pictures that were taken over the past month. I FINALLY have some pictures of me and the boys! Alex isn't in any of them but I'm working on that.
4.14.2012

4.14.2012
He's going after the ball!!

4.14.2012 - My sweet little soccer player!
4.23.2012 - this boy has killer blue eyes :)
4.24.2012 - Snuggling with one of his aunts!
4.30.2012
5.4.2012



5.5.2012
5.7.2012
5.11.2012
My sweet 4 month old...
5.11.2012

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Introducing baby Colin Patrick!!!
4 pounds 12 ounces; 17.5 inches long
On January 11, 2012 at 4:50 am we welcomed Colin Patrick into the world! After 46 very long days in the hospital I went into active labor mid-morning on Tuesday, January 10th. I was 34.3 weeks pregnant at the time and throughout the day we were trying to mentally prepare ourselves for the fact that our baby would likely spend some time in the NICU. A neonatologist came to speak with us and to tell us what to expect and we were told that Colin would probably spend one to three weeks in the NICU and also that they would automatically give him IV fluids since I was less than 35 weeks pregnant. I also was required to deliver in the operating room just in case anything went wrong. Labor was definitely no walk in the park but I was so relieved that my pregnancy was coming to an end that I think I could have handled just about anything at that point. I guess I'll give a quick account of his birth story for anyone that is interested (and because if I don't write it down, it is very likely that I will forget!).

About a week before I went into labor I was sent from my regular hospital room to the Labor & Delivery floor for a few days because my heart rate started to spike up to the 140s while resting. While in L & D, I was kept on a heart rate monitor continuously and had several different tests peformed on my heart. The doctors never did figure out why my heart was doing that and all of my tests came back normal. The theory is that more blood clots could have moved into my lungs causing the increased heart rate and respirations. Because I was already on blood thinners (to treat my other clots and pulmonary embolisms) it was not worth performing another Spiral CT. The doctors decided it would just be best to monitor me and they also made the decision to discontinue the medication I was taking to stall labor. Within two days my contractions increased in both frequency and intensity and I was once again sent to L & D for a few days. Even though I was having contractions every 5 minutes or so, I was not in "active labor". I was basically miserable and making no progress at all. How frustrating! I continued in latent labor for about a week and on Sunday, January 8th Colin gave me a big scare when his heart rate started decelerating during some of my contractions. This is the same reason I had an emergency c-section with Aidan so I was terrified. Thankfully, his heart rate stabilized the nurses continued to monitor him closely. My doctor said that if he had any more heart decelerations or if anything else happened with me that I would be sent to L & D and would remain there until Colin was born. I did not want that!! I loved my nurses and I loved my room and I was just done with the whole thing. Monday, January 9th, I was in so much pain from the contractions (that still didn't seem to be doing ANYTHING) that I was given a low dose of morphine to help me to relax a little bit. I had not slept or been able to eat anything for days and it was definitely taking a toll on me. I was an emotional wreck and I did not understand how could be in THAT much pain and yet nothing was happening. My mom spent the last few days and nights at the hospital with me so Alex could still go to work (thanks mom) and she tried to make feel better the best she could but I know I was probably frustrating...

Tuesday, January 10th while I was having my daily non-stress test (to monitor contractions and Colin's heart rate), he began to have more heart decels. My doctor was called and just as promised I was sent to stay in Labor & Delivery until Colin decided to be born. I was not a happy camper but I was praying that it wouldn't be for very long. After just a few hours in L & D I was FINALLY in active labor and I could not have been more relieved...
This is what Alex was busy doing while I was in labor :)

I labored all day and through the night and after only about 20 minutes of pushing, Colin was finally here!! Much to our surprise, he was doing so well that we were able to spend about 15 minutes in the delivery room with him before they whisked him away to the NICU and he was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!



There is no better sound than the sound of your baby's first cry - especially
when you aren't sure if they will be able to breathe on their own. It was music to our ears...


We were so thrilled that we were able to hold him before they took
him to the NICU!!

Proud daddy :)
After we spent some time with him in the delivery room, he was taken over to the NICU to make sure everything checked out okay. I had to spend more time than normal in recovery because of my blood clots and everything so I wasn't able to feed him for several hours. By the time I was able to go visit him he had a feeding tube placed down his nose because his blood sugar was low. The nurses had tried giving him formula while they waited for me but Colin wanted nothing to do with it and he was throwing up everything they had given him. It was so sad to see him with that tube down his nose and he HATED it but I know that things could have been much much worse.





His incubator was under a heater and he loved to stretch his legs out towards the heat. It was so cute :)
After I was able to nurse Colin a few times his blood sugars improved drastically and his feeding tube was taken out when he was about 30 hours old. He was even released from the NICU so he could room in with me and we went home after just two days. He is our little miracle!
This is right after they took his feeding tube out! Yay!

Look at this hairy baby...

Looking at his daddy - this is one of my favorite pictures :)
We are so thankful to have such a healthy baby but another thing I am beyond thankful for is the fact that for the first time in 217 days I am no longer constantly nauseated and dizzy. I have a long recovery ahead of me but my night and day sickness is gone. What a wonderful feeling! Colin is the perfect addition to our family we are beyond blessed to have two amazing boys to call our own.