LEGO land!!

We went to Legoland yesterday for the first time! It was a blast. Aidan loves everything LEGO so it was really awesome to see it all through his little boy eyes. The weather was perfect, Colin did great for such a little guy, and we all just had a great day. The only thing that could have made it better was if Alex could have joined us but he had to work.

I got very car sick on the way there so that was really rough. It was like being in the midst of my pregnancy all over again so mentally it was really hard to handle. Blah... I felt better once we got there though and the drive home wasn't as bad thanfully. Here are some pictures of our day!

Kennedy Space Center!!

Las Vegas strip

Aidan loved looking at all of the legos

This is what we saw of Colin most of the day :) He slept in the stroller so peacefully...
such a good baby!

He earned his driver's license!! lol

:)

Going to a theme park is completely exhausting!

It was a very exhausting day and I could barely move by the time I came home but we had a great time :)

Two months already come and gone...

Colin has been here for two months already! Life just seems to go faster and faster as time goes on. Colin is growing like a weed! He weighed 8.13 lbs at his two month check up and has outgrown most of his preemie clothes. He is now wearing newborn diapers and clothes. He still rolls over whenever we lay him on his stomach and he is becoming more amd more observant every day. He loves mommy (although I am his sole food source so I wouldn't expect anything different!) but he absolutely loves listening to his daddy amd brother talk too. He has started social smiling but only every once in a while. He still makes us work for it! Aidan was smiling constantly by this point so I am getting impatient but his pediatrician reminded me that we need to go by his adjusted age for milestones (when he was supposed to be born) instead of his actual age so at this point he is only about 3 weeks old. He is an old pro at nursing and he absolutely loves his bed. He still wakes up to eat at night but he is doing very well for his size amd adjusted age. He sleeps an average of 16-17 hours every day (12 of those hours are at night). He does have a fussy time every evening but I think most babies do so we just deal with it. Giving him a bath during this time really helps keep him calm though...

My health update:
Every week since Colin was born I have had weekly (and sometimes twice weekly) appointments to my hematologist to follow up on my blood clots and monitor my blood levels because I am still on blood thinners. I have been receiving twice daily injections of Lovenox into my stomach since my clots were discovered in November 2011 and was also placed on Coumadin after Colin was born. My levels have FINALLY reached a level the doctors are happy with so just this week I was able to stop the Lovenox injections. My sore stomach is VERY thankful! I will be on Coumadin for a while longer to make sure I do not develop any more clots but that's much better that two shots a day! My hematologist wants me to go see a couple of other doctors but I have been putting it off because I am so DONE with doctors!! I know I need to go, and I will. I just need more time. My right arm still turns a lovely shade of purple and goes numb which is the reason I need to make an appointment with my vascular surgeon and some of my blood work came back abnormal so I am supposed to go to a rheumatologist for that. Anyway, enough about all of that. I'd rather not think about it... I am still dealing with the emotional toll that HG took on me as well as the physical toll. I wish I could just forget it all happened but it's not that easy. Just thinking about the past year gives me feelings of anxiety and makes me sad for all that I missed. My body is a mess from being depleted of nutrients for so long and then spending so much time in bed at the hospital and with all of the aches and pains I have I sometimes feel like I'm 80 years old rather than 25. Don't get me wrong, I am SO thankful to be feeling so much better that I did when I was pregnant and SO thankful to have two amazing healthy sons and my husband. I just think that God is trying to work on my patience and it is HARD! It's a process and I need to get through it...

Aidan has been as cute as ever and loves his little brother so much! He prayed the other day and thanked God for giving him the "right" brother. I am so glad Aidan doesn't have any issues with jealousy towards Colin. I think part of it is the fact that he is older and is taking on more of a "helper" role. In fact, Aidan loves his brother so much that he unfortunately "shared" his cold with Colin despite our efforts to keep them separate. Because Colin's little lungs are weaker he ended up with pneumonia from his cold but he doing well now. I'm looking forward to watching my boys grow up (but hopefully not too fast!).

That's all of the main updates for this month so it's on to another explosion of photos! I will try to start updating more frequently so I won't need to cram so much into the monthly updates but for now, this is what there is...

Spending time in the Emergency room for pneumonia at 5 weeks old. He cried himself to sleep :(

just hanging out with daddy

Our first month home...

It has been quite a month! I am adjusting to life at home and life with a new baby and things are going pretty well overall. I am so thankful to have a healthy baby and to not feel sick anymore that even when things go wrong I am STILL thankful. Colin weighed just 4.4 pounds when we brought him home from the hospital and by two weeks he had made it back to his birth weight of 4.12 lbs. By the end of the month he weighed over 6 lbs! He is such a good eater and easy going baby. At one month old he is wearing Preemie diapers still and preemie clothes as well. Not for long though, he is growing fast. Here's an overview of what happened this month.....

When Colin was 5 days old he had to spend a few days (at home) on a bili bed for jaundice. It was so hard not to cuddle him all the time since he had to stay on the lights but it didn't take long before his jaundice level went down and we were able to get rid of lights. What a happy day that was!

At one week old, Colin decided that it was time to start rolling over and although at first we thought it was just a fluke, he continues to roll over every day. He's such a smart little boy! Aidan is adjusting to having a little brother just great. He loves Colin and is always asking if he can hold him. Here are about a million pictures of our first month!

Day after coming home from the hospital

Colin's first bath in the water - he really liked it!

First full day home and so happy (but tired)!

9 days old

2 weeks old

Colin and one of his uncles

Daisy and daddy just staring

 Our dog Daisy died suddenly when Colin was 3 weeks old. Daisy has been my dog since I was 15 years old so it was definitely a tough time for me. She was such a good dog and as you can see by these pictures, she loved checking on the babies. I have a similar picture of her watching Aidan when we first bought him home from the hospital. The picture below was taken just a few days before she died...

Almost a month old already

Aidan busted his lip open and recieved his first set of stitches. It didn't hold Aidan down long though. As soon as he came home from the hospital he was dancing around as usual...

This is right after he had his stitches taken out. Such a brave boy!

I am really enjoying my new family of four and there is just nothing like being a mommy to little boys. They are messy but it's the best kind of messy there is....

Coming home...

Coming home from my long stay at the hospital has not been easy. It seems like it would be no big deal and I should be so thrilled to be home (and I am - believe me) but there is so much more to it than that. I was so ready to be home but at the same time I felt very unprepared. There were so many emotions coursing through me on the way home that I didn't now what to do with them all. I cried because I was happy, I cried because I couldn't believe we were actually able to take Colin home right away, I cried because I was going to miss my nurses that took care of me for so long, and I cried because I was scared. It feels like life went on as usual while I was in the hospital - just without me... I was afraid that I wasn't going to "fit in" anymore. I was afraid that Aidan wouldn't want anything to do with me because I had been gone for so long. It was all so strange. Add some hormones from having a baby in the mix and you've got a recipe for disaster. I didn't feel like I was "needed" anymore. Alex was so used to being mommy and daddy while I was gone that it was just second nature to him.

 The day after I came home, Aidan needed to have socks on and I told Aidan to come to me so I could help him. Well, guess what? He didn't need my help, he had learned to put his own socks on while I was sitting in a hospital bed. He also stopped wearing pull-ups to bed, grew too tall for some of his pants, and other little things changed too. I know that these seem like small, unimportant things but at that moment, they were very BIG things to me. Everytime Alex would go out into the garage to work on one of his hobbies or projects, it would make me cry. I am pretty sure he thought I had lost my mind because in the 8 years he has known me I have never been a cryer. I tried explaining to him that everytime he walked out of my hospital room it meant he was leaving me so it felt like the same thing was happening when he would walk out of the house. No, it doesn't make sense, but when do feelings ever make complete sense?

Over these first few weeks I have been getting used to being home again. I was stuck in one place for so many weeks that it is strange knowing I had the freedom to walk outside, drive my car, and many other "normal" things that I previously took for granted. I'm trying to be less clingy to Alex and remind myself that he isn't leaving. I love being back in my home, back in my own bed, and spending every minute that I can with my family. I still have nightmares about going to the hospital and not being allowed to leave but they are getting less frequent thankfully. It's a process, but I'm working on it...


I'm not sure who took this picture but this was taken just a few minutes after we got home from the hospital. After Aidan met Colin and was able to hold him, I passed the baby off to my sister and picked Aidan up and just completely fell apart. I think Aidan thought I wan't happy since I was crying but that could not have been further from the truth. Coming home and holding him made me realize just how much I missed being home with my family...



This is Aidan's first time meeting Colin. He never saw him in the hospital since Colin spent some time in the NICU and Aidan wasn't allowed to come in there. He loves him!!



This is my sister's first time holding Colin. I think she likes him a little :)

Introducing baby Colin Patrick!!!

4 pounds 12 ounces; 17.5 inches long

On January 11, 2012 at 4:50 am we welcomed Colin Patrick into the world! After 46 very long days in the hospital I went into active labor mid-morning on Tuesday, January 10th. I was 34.3 weeks pregnant at the time and throughout the day we were trying to mentally prepare ourselves for the fact that our baby would likely spend some time in the NICU. A neonatologist came to speak with us and to tell us what to expect and we were told that Colin would probably spend one to three weeks in the NICU and also that they would automatically give him IV fluids since I was less than 35 weeks pregnant. I also was required to deliver in the operating room just in case anything went wrong. Labor was definitely no walk in the park but I was so relieved that my pregnancy was coming to an end that I think I could have handled just about anything at that point. I guess I'll give a quick account of his birth story for anyone that is interested (and because if I don't write it down, it is very likely that I will forget!).

About a week before I went into labor I was sent from my regular hospital room to the Labor & Delivery floor for a few days because my heart rate started to spike up to the 140s while resting. While in L & D, I was kept on a heart rate monitor continuously and had several different tests peformed on my heart. The doctors never did figure out why my heart was doing that and all of my tests came back normal. The theory is that more blood clots could have moved into my lungs causing the increased heart rate and respirations. Because I was already on blood thinners (to treat my other clots and pulmonary embolisms) it was not worth performing another Spiral CT. The doctors decided it would just be best to monitor me and they also made the decision to discontinue the medication I was taking to stall labor. Within two days my contractions increased in both frequency and intensity and I was once again sent to L & D for a few days. Even though I was having contractions every 5 minutes or so, I was not in "active labor". I was basically miserable and making no progress at all. How frustrating! I continued in latent labor for about a week and on Sunday, January 8th Colin gave me a big scare when his heart rate started decelerating during some of my contractions. This is the same reason I had an emergency c-section with Aidan so I was terrified. Thankfully, his heart rate stabilized the nurses continued to monitor him closely. My doctor said that if he had any more heart decelerations or if anything else happened with me that I would be sent to L & D and would remain there until Colin was born. I did not want that!! I loved my nurses and I loved my room and I was just done with the whole thing. Monday, January 9th, I was in so much pain from the contractions (that still didn't seem to be doing ANYTHING) that I was given a low dose of morphine to help me to relax a little bit. I had not slept or been able to eat anything for days and it was definitely taking a toll on me. I was an emotional wreck and I did not understand how could be in THAT much pain and yet nothing was happening. My mom spent the last few days and nights at the hospital with me so Alex could still go to work (thanks mom) and she tried to make feel better the best she could but I know I was probably frustrating...

Tuesday, January 10th while I was having my daily non-stress test (to monitor contractions and Colin's heart rate), he began to have more heart decels. My doctor was called and just as promised I was sent to stay in Labor & Delivery until Colin decided to be born. I was not a happy camper but I was praying that it wouldn't be for very long. After just a few hours in L & D I was FINALLY in active labor and I could not have been more relieved...

This is what Alex was busy doing while I was in labor :)

I labored all day and through the night and after only about 20 minutes of pushing, Colin was finally here!! Much to our surprise, he was doing so well that we were able to spend about 15 minutes in the delivery room with him before they whisked him away to the NICU and he was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

There is no better sound than the sound of your baby's first cry - especially
when you aren't sure if they will be able to breathe on their own. It was music to our ears...

We were so thrilled that we were able to hold him before they took
him to the NICU!!

Proud daddy :)

After we spent some time with him in the delivery room, he was taken over to the NICU to make sure everything checked out okay. I had to spend more time than normal in recovery because of my blood clots and everything so I wasn't able to feed him for several hours. By the time I was able to go visit him he had a feeding tube placed down his nose because his blood sugar was low. The nurses had tried giving him formula while they waited for me but Colin wanted nothing to do with it and he was throwing up everything they had given him. It was so sad to see him with that tube down his nose and he HATED it but I know that things could have been much much worse.

His incubator was under a heater and he loved to stretch his legs out towards the heat. It was so cute :)

After I was able to nurse Colin a few times his blood sugars improved drastically and his feeding tube was taken out when he was about 30 hours old. He was even released from the NICU so he could room in with me and we went home after just two days. He is our little miracle!

This is right after they took his feeding tube out! Yay!

Look at this hairy baby...

Looking at his daddy - this is one of my favorite pictures :)

We are so thankful to have such a healthy baby but another thing I am beyond thankful for is the fact that for the first time in 217 days I am no longer constantly nauseated and dizzy. I have a long recovery ahead of me but my night and day sickness is gone. What a wonderful feeling! Colin is the perfect addition to our family we are beyond blessed to have two amazing boys to call our own.